I’ve done something so freekin’ amazing this weekend, that it may shock and/or impregnate you, im looking at you…..yuri!….

I CUT OFF MY STACHE!!!!!!……anyone….

*Tumbleweed rolls by*

Screw you all then! It mattered to me, ese (said in a “chola” accent)

Fine, for all of you who didnt take the time to gaze at my….face…. I’ll show you all why this is more important than the second coming of Jesus

Frank: Hohohoho

Before:

…and after:

This is after a wager I put upon mardybum and his lice. He agreed on not getting a haircut, while I agreed not shaving. This bet has been goin on for a month now…and I was getting pretty attached to that hair on my top lip, and the hair of my muttonchops that felt like vero’s ferret, which can dance, here be a video if it dancing, oh yes. While there may be many, many positives of not having an awesome stache (looking like a ten year old, mostly), lets come together and be pessimistic. The negatives;

1) I wont be able to play “The Barron” in the school play anymore…

2) The drapes wont match the carpet no more they be…

3) …and everyone’s favorite, mardybum will cut off his lice-infested jewfro…

 

 

Today as I stumbled around my house for food, as usuall, I came across a innocent can of corn. Seeing as we do not own a can opener, I used a big rusty knife. I stabbed at the can two or three times before I………….heard a knock at the door. It was the “eBay mAfia”, as some refer it, coming down to break my legs for a gargantuan amount of unpaid items. Apparently the life ban and outbreak of lice they bestowed upon me wasnt enough (although I think that I got the lice from mardybum…). Anyways, we got into a big Kill Bill-esque kind of fight for a couple of minutes. At the end, I jumped out of the gallons and gallons of blood that people usually spray out when limbs are chopped off and I was all like “Blaaaaah! I’m a kraken from the sea!”. I then reallized I had cut my thumb and sobbed uncontrollably for 30 minutes until I realized I had to do a certain blog. Here’s what I did;

Chiken (Misspelling is intentional damn it!)

Im not sure if its a chicken or a turkey, I dunno, you decide and try to guess what that is on the right….

TDK Joker (Too Awesome)

It might have taken about an hour to do, but I finally have something that resembles The Joker from the upcoming movie on my thumb.

Nintendo is full of evil, souless men (and probably some women, lets not be sexist eh?). They have been toying with gamers’ feelings for about two years now, messing with us like one would with pie to a fat kid. And I dont like that kind of thing. As many of might not know, a game has been creating a commotion within gamers since they first ever mention the existence of a Wii (Revolution actually, the first name given to the wii).

Yes, of course im talking about Smash Bros. Brawl. Now I wont go into details about this godly of all games, but for god’s sake Nintendo, put up a solid release date! Im not 100% sure, but I think it was supposed to come out when the Wii came out December 8, 2006, but I am not really sure. What I do know, for sure, it was supposed to come out June or July of last year, which was not fullfilled due to some technical problems. They said, “Just wait till november, and we will definately make sure it comes out”, and we gamer, we said, ” Thats ok, I would rather have rearry rearry (inside joke) good game that we have to wait for than a rearry crappy game”. November came, and we were told to hold our bladders full of anticipation and our munny clutched in our hands for just one more month, and they would have the game. We waited, and waited, then waited some more. Two or so weeks before the release, their website posted up a shocking, yet suprisingly pleasant note….

 “Today I have some good news and some bad news. Let’s get the bad part out of the way first, shall we?

As many of you may have already heard, we have had to delay the launch of Super Smash Bros. Brawl by just a little bit—it will now be launching on February 10th in the Americas. I know that many of you will be disappointed by this news, but please understand that the extra development time will enable us to make the game the best it can be. It is my earnest hope that you will all be enjoying this game for many years, and we are all working very hard toward that goal.”

They sounded serious this time, I decided, so I went over to the local Gamestop and reservered the game about a two weeks or so ago. Long story short, they postponed the game yet again, only this time they didnt leave a pleasant, heart-warming note on their site. No. This time they secretly changed the date March 9th, another f*cking month. And only recently they have put up a small note on the side, begging for mercy

“Due to delays in the completion of Super Smash Bros. Brawl, we’ve had to change the release date of the game to Sunday, March 9th.

I deeply apologize to the people who have looked forward to playing the game for so long and ask that you hold on just a little longer. Thank you for your patience.”

 

Well at least this time they sounded sincere, right…..right?

Note – Keep in mind I am writing this blog blue. I too am saddened by the resent passing of one of the best actors i’ve ever seen. His recent portrayal in The Dark Knight has shown me some, probably even the best acting I’ve ever seen any actor dish out. You have my utmost respect, Heath Ledger…. -end of note-

As many of you people know, I have an unhealthy obsession with a game called Silent Hill. You know Silent Hill, that game that mad a “ok at best” movie a year or so ago. You know. Yeah. Anyways, they recently came out with a prequel that was supposed to explain the events leading to the first SH, but instead dissapoints and makes fans cry.

This very fact may be because the original developers, Team Silent, disbanded some time ago and took Silent Hill’s soul with them. The game was handed over to many other developers (each one more dissapointing than the last), and was finally given Climax Studios. Climax has given us such classics as; Hot Wheels: World Race, Gumball 3000, Nicktoons Unite, and that god-awful movie-to-game adaptation of Ghost Rider. Ok, they seemed a little too unqualified to make such a psychotic, bloody game such as SH, but lets at least at the positives…..and the crippling negatives…

Pros: Great graphics, great atmostphere, great music (thank you Akira Yamaoka, you will never dissapoint), and a pretty good “new” battling system……oh, and we can’t forget that chicken thing that scared the cr*p outta me a couple of times (up there)

Cons: No variety of monsters (I can seriously count how many different monsters they made on one hand), horrible boss battles, horrible main character, horrible endings (c’mon climax, you just cant slap a twist ending on just anything ya know, and im not going into that whole ufo ending thing), and worst of all, the worst story of SH history (It just fuc….. friggin told us what we already know, just dumbed down a little)

Hopefully, the new-new developers that are in charge of making Silent Hill 5 will make a better SH than climax did. The new developers being The Collective, who are responsible for such classics as; Buffy the Vampire Slayer: The Game, The Game of Life, and that god-awful book-to-movie-to-game adaptation of The Da Vinci Code………    

This blog is such a downer; shootings, homelessness, contemporary art . So I, _____, will try to make that crappy frown up-side down.

A black cat has been sleazing around out back in my backyard for some time now, and I never actually took the time to hear it out. Well today, while deciding whether or not postponing this sinking ship you call a blog, I realized that it was actually talking this whole time. I kid you not. At first it said “hello” while I was passing by my backyard, I shrugged it off as I am used to hearing innanimate objects talk to me. Yes, a cat is an innanimate object, unlike dogs. Eww, its saying it again. Anyhoo, I just recently heard it say another, rather creepy word; “help”. I swear to god!

Frank: Hehehe

When I heard that, instantly ran into my house practically yelling to my parents. My parents naturally shrugged it off as they are used to me talking to things…..that really shouldnt be talking. Anyways, long story short, I went to my backyard and saw that it had climed to my neighbor’s backyard, and was now saying “Oww”.  I now know what that dirty cat was trying to tell me…….. it wanted me to throw rocks at it! I followed it’s command and it ran away.

 

  Fin

Oh and I will put up pictures and link whenever I friggin ( damn you FCC, which stands for $@&*ing #%@*sucking #%@*&ers, weeee) oh, huh, oh yeah, feel like it, or probably when my grade is on the line, so nuts to you @#^%$ina