Yesterday just like the day before yesterday got off work at 6 pm on the dot. The difference was that I decided to take another route to my bus stop, one that would require me to walk about 5 blocks of the famous Broadway street.So I started my little adventure, I saw once again people just walking around, some rushing through the crowds and others walking at a nice calm pace. I saw flocks of people starting from the brown skinned Chicano to the white skinned Anglo, from the reddish-brown skinned Indian to the dark skinned Black, many of them coming out of the barely closed Central Market, and others from close-by stores and fast-food chain restaurants like El Pollo Loco, Pizza-Hut, KFC, and McDonalds, which have basically invaded this street.

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Coming out of work around 6 pm, I have to walk about 4 blocks to get to my bus stop on 4th and Broadway. As I was walking towards the bus (the 40 Montebello Bus Line), couldn’t help to think about how dark it was and how lonely and dangerous being in that bus stop was going to be. Little did I know, when i got to the bus stop there was more than just homeless people but actual “home” people I guess, still walking around. Some people still selling gums and toys from their little shopping carts and others just walking to their bus stops; I even saw a janitor crossing the street still cleaning up.

As I was pondering about how weird it was, my curiosity took over and I found myself speaking with a guy who was going home after a long day of selling homemade monuments from his small black cart. He said he started everyday (even Sundays) around 10 every morning and finished around 6 or sometimes 7 at night depending on how he feels he’s doing. He said he walks all Broadway until getting into the Santee Alleys then he comes back to Broadway and does it again and again. When i asked, where did he live he replied Norwalk. I was amazed because of how long of a commute that was.

Little by little we kept talking and he said he lived with his friends family, and his wife and kids. Never once did I laughed at what his job was because what this man was doing was truly and the far most admirable thing I had heard about, and just listening to him, I really respected him.

I was really tripping out, but it is pretty amazing how a lot of these people are barely leaving home to their families and working for them with the hope that one day their sons and daughters will work and help them.

I have gotten the most F’s i have ever gotten in my life. Never in my life have i gotten an F, but looking at this semester i know i’ll have more than one. Coming to my senior, i tried to talk myself into not making procrastination a habit since i knew i couldn’t completely erase it from me. It only got worst when i just straight out got lazy which didnt mix in that good with my other habit. Little by little i started to notice how it started affecting, not only my schoolwork but also my personal life.

I started to realize how as a person, i can really be irresponsible, careless, and inconsiderate. Because of that i feel that i have hurt many people by plain old selfishness. People that have always been trying to help me to succeed in my studies and further my education. I have no other excuse, can’t blame it on lack of love from my family or friends, cuz they give me that, can’t blame it on my poverty, because that has nothing to do my intellectual qualities and wut i choose to do with my own actions, can’t blame it on Boyle Heights because it’s a “Ghetto” place to live in because i’ve been living here for about 15 years and just now is when i’m messing up, can’t say no one could succeed here because they have, the only thing, well the only person to be exact i could blame it on, is myself.

Just straight out tired of making up excuses, what’s the use, can’t lie to myself anymore,can’t say i didn’t know because i know exactly what i’m doing.

Through life i have learned and have identified the flaws in my character, but i have yet to learn to identify solutions towards my flaws.

Its hard to explain though, its like you know what to do but you seem to lack something, everything around seems to be working perfectly but your the only one who seems to be malfunctioning.

“…And you wonder why you? Why is it happening?
But theres nothing you can change, your name is your name
and thats the life God chose for you to obtain,
just try to sustain,
dont pertain to anything your not
Eventhough its hard because you living in the “Ghetto Bloc”
by BROWN_N_DOWN

No one seems to know how to fix your problems nor know the solutions to them, it is up to you to look down south to find your buoyancy, and why you still choose to stay in this world. What sucks though is while i slow down and ponder about complications and dramatic drama, life doesn’t slow down and wait for me, it keeps on going whether i’m on track or not. It is not lifes job to slow down with you but it is to keep on going. It is your job to catch up with it as you live it, so you can keep on going.

This week has been another week as a chip slanger if that is a term. Selling because my academy is lacking funds to go to an educational field trip, which i’m very excited to go on. The thing is that now i have to fundraise $220 which is impossible for my parents to give me. I’ve been selling chips, Cheetos to be precise; small bags 50 cents, big bags 75 cents, but let’s not forget if you want to add chamoy its one more quarter than the regular price. Every day i make about 15 to 20 bucks if i sell a bag that we have adopted the nickname as of today, a DUB sack because its composed of 10 small bags of chips and 10 big bags. It’s pretty crazy because in school its not like we could sell all out in the open, it has to be done in a secretive way, its like were actually selling contraband, but our merchandise isn’t illegal substances, they’re just Cheetos. I really do feel some times like a straight out slanger, but hey can’t complain i make that money.

You might be wondering what is this all about?So let me start the explaining. Today one of my dearest was denied a fee waiver , by the college corner because she had lost one she had gotten before. Its funny because the day before, the college corner had told her she was going to receive another waiver for the one she had lost, all she had to do was to return an application the following day and bam new fee waiver.

The story begins when she lost her original fee waiver she had obtained before going on a school field trip. When she arrived to school from the trip she realized she had lost it and had to try and get a fee waiver since the deadline for the test (ACT) she was taking was on Friday Sep 21, 2007.

So what ended up happening is that my friend return the next day with a smile and with the appropriate application signed and everything, thinking she was going to receive the waiver.

When she went inside the college corner, she was not given a fee waiver because she was told the College Corner was going to have problems with the college board.

Later My teacher ended up trying to get the Fee Waiver for my friend but he also got rejected.

Now My friend is going to have to register for another date to take her test.

Who knows, this might have altered her life, her whole future, just because the College Corner chose to not provide a student with a fee waiver that would be helpful and beneficial because of financial challenges. Who has the money to pay for a 50 dollar test? Not me!! Thanks College Corner.

Now all my friend could do is contemplate on her life and think about the dumbest thing that could ever happen. She thought the people in the College Corner were there to help but she should have known. She now has to keep a straight face, move on, wait ’til next test date, and say,”Later, Fee Waiver”